So apparently Larry the Cable Guy was here last August during Musikfest to clean up our shit. No, really. Apparently he’s doing some terribly unfunny half Dirty Jobs ripoff, half redneck documentary series where he goes around and works blue collar jobs and learns about redneck hobbies. In this episode he tagged along with a port-a-potty cleaning company out of Jersey. Where to? Musikfest, home of a million shitcans for one week in August.
If you really want to watch this, the real action starts at 6 minutes in and lasts for about 3 minutes. Some things to ponder here:
1) We actually just watched far too much Larry the Cable Guy for our own good. Fucking hell.
2) These are the kinds of things the HISTORY CHANNEL is airing. And people wonder why other countries hate us.
3) You can apparently extract watermelons from port-a-potties with giant vacuums.
4) They say that there’s usually one unit for every 10 people and each unit gets cleaned after about 400 uses. Yeah, not so much for Musikfest.
5) He tries to jerk off with a suction tube from a sewage truck. And yet somehow he got some extremely attractive woman to not only have sex with him, but marry him.
5) They visited the day after STP headlined. Apparently there was a drunken sextravaganza in STPs bathroom as there were several Musikfest mugs and a bra extracted. Could’ve been set up though, as there was a goat extracted from a toilet earlier in the show (not with a vacuum).
6) Larry the Cable Guy is obviously extremely famous. Just look at those tens of fans being held back by Artsquest security. If it weren’t for them they would’ve bum-rushed Larry and quite possibly gotten sprayed with fecal matter. …Why didn’t they let them get closer again?
7) There was a (still operating) Musikfest blinking mug extracted from a toilet, as well as a pair of keys. I’m really hoping whoever lost these items in that toilet see this show and go, “Oh, THAT’S where I lost my stuff after blacking out…”
8) Larry the Cable Guy literally cleaned up our shit and piss. Possibly YOUR shit and piss. Can we get this in the Artsquest annual report, Mayor Callahan’s State of the City address, or in some sort of official report?